one year ago today...

This past week I can't stop thinking of where we were exactly one year ago. It was Tony and me and a rather large baby bump. I remember the Christmas morning with just the two of us, the lazy days we spent sleeping in, and enjoying New Year's Day with both of our parents. We took long walks, bundled up by the fire, and took great pleasure in anticipating the arrival of our soon-to-be-born child.

Exactly one year ago the contractions started coming. I spent the day being pampered by my mom (pedicure, haircut, donuts) and we had just settled in for a relaxing girls night (while Tony went off to play basketball) when the contractions hit. My mom knew immediately that I was in labor. A couple of hours later we were on our way to the birthing center. I like to joke that the night-long labor was just the kick-start to A LOT of sleepless nights ahead.

Sometimes I feel so disconnected from that girl one year ago. When Oliver was born, my focus shifted and life seemed a little more clear. I would have been so much better prepared for that change if I could have imparted some of the wisdom I've learned this past year to my previous self, but such is life. I am grateful for the changes and for all that I have experienced and learned. I know that I have much, much, much more to learn. Having a baby seriously magnifies my own imperfections and helps to show me that I have much to strive for to be the wife, mother, and woman that I want to become. Within the last year their has been pain, exhaustion, and tears, but ultimately MUCH more joy and happiness than I ever thought imaginable.

My little Oliver Henry, I love you so.